What Not to Do...

What Not to Do in Front of a Fangirl...

#1. NEVER, repeat NEVER, bash on her fandom. She won't like that. You might end up on a slave ship heading for the cotton fields of Cuba.

#2. If she's in love with a book or movie character, do NOT tell her that her fictional boyfriend isn't real. Let her believe that he is or else she'll threaten to get said boyfriend to kick your a$$. And you should be afraid of that.

#3.  If she's in love with a band, do NOT say that you're "just not into" that band. She may tell you it's okay, but on the inside, she's planning your murder. You just like the band, okay?

#4. If she's in love with a celebrity, do NOT tell her that he is too far from her reach. She just might sneak up on you later and choke you with her shoelaces. Tell her she has as a chance. Trust me.

#5. If she's in love with a movie, movie trilogy, or movie series, do NOT tell her that the movie is "so old" or "so last year". As far as you're concerned, it's new and fresh and exciting. That is, if you want to live to see your next birthday. If not, go ahead and tell her that you're over it.

#6. Say there's a countdown coming for either her book's release, her band's new tour, her crush's birthday, or her movie's premiere- participate in her excitement or at least pretend you're the least bit interested. And NEVER ask "Why?" Do NOT.

#7. Say she just found out that her fictional boyfriend's book was getting bad reviews, her band's number one song was dropped from the top list, her celebrity wasn't doing good work, or her movie(s) was beat in the box office, do NOT tell her to "get over it" or say "So what?" Just don't.

#8. Say she's gushing about her fandom and it's getting really annoying, do NOT tell her to shut up. Do NOT roll your eyes. And again do NOT, repeat do NOT, start bashing on the fandom. Or you will wake up very confused in a wooden box floating in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

#9. Say she's got more than one fandom going on at once, do NOT tell her that she can't have more than one fandom. Tell her that you think it's great that she has so many interests.

#10. When she gets over her fandom (and, believe me, she will eventually) do NOT throw a party to celebrate. Do NOT thank God (at least not out loud). Do NOT tell her how annoying she was. Do NOT start bashing on the fandom she supposedly just got over. If you know what's good for you, you won't.

Because fangirls are just awesome like that.